Our Bride in the City blogger is back and this time it's invite central!

We cordially invite you…

Well not quite yet! They are still in the process of being made, but the story leading up to the final sign off is enjoyable – for all those at a great distance from Zilla (that’s my inner-Bridezilla, flattering name I know!).

As you all know, I’m in the magazine industry, and from time to time, we do get those amazing invitations landing on our desks – launches, lunches, dinners, and of course FASHION WEEK. For many years now I have kept a log (not in alphabetical order or anything) of all my favourite invites. Paper stock. Fonts. Size. Envelope. And the X-Factor.

This year’s fashion week – only one invite stood out from the rest. I won’t say who, but they have been around for a few years now, and they know what’s hot. They had the invite I was looking for – filed!

My mum, who has an inner-Zilla of her own, had come across a catalogue, the cover, a very similar design to said designer. So as we started to discuss what invite vision we had, we drew out our highest card – “they’re the same!” – we might not look the same, but we’re definitely related. I knew it would be hard to convince M-I-L and Mr Finance – he’s pretty on the pulse and loves all things modern. So I put on my design hat and attempted a mock up. To give it to you in context – there are many fonts, but still structured.

D-day: showing M-I-L.

I was tense, I knew I had a back-up, but my heart was in the Fashion Week design. Before showing her the mock-up, she wanted to show off her ‘ideal’ invite. Insert confused face here.

“It’s so plain?!?”

“Yes! It’s beautiful isn’t it…”

“Well, this is what I had in mind…”

Insert M-I-L confused face here.

Luckily for me Mr Finance had spoken to his mum prior to the meeting reminding her that it was our day and he was on board with the design…so she should be too.

Design, check!

Designer, check! (and briefed that M-I-L might have an aversion to the design)

Paper stock, check!

Envelope, check!

Text…I really want to say check, but there’s another little story.

Given that writing is my 9-5, I was put in charge of writing the invitation. And given my access to sub-editors, I could get it checked.

Off I go, I’ll admit there’s a lot of pressure in writing an invitation, you don’t want to offend, ‘whose name goes first’, ‘write out the numbers’, ‘RSVP card vs email’… but I managed to pull it all together and with the dates TRIPLE CHECKED! Let’s be honest, people know our names, they might not know the date!

I hit send…

MUM: “Great darl, love it”

MR FINANCE: “Let’s change parents to family names” (good suggestion: text change)

M-I-L: waiting, waiting – have now left the office.

Phone call: I’ll cut that bit out – but what I can say – it involved an almighty roar from Zilla. (I think she just needed to say hi, she’s back in her cage now, call off the Special Forces.)

M-I-L wanted to remove the street numbers from the Church and hotel address. That would work if every single person attended this particular Church, and also lived in Sydney and knew the hotel. If you remove the numbers, you might as well not have the address at all and have “google” in its place.

I explained this calmly and politely. And before any more changes could be made, I sent it to the invitation designer to start.

“You have mail.”

M-I-L: “We’ll see after the design!”

Ohhh, Zilla will surely be seeing the light of day soon…

Until next time,

Bride in the City xx

"THE DRESS" - Another blog from our bride in the city

I’m back. I took a brief wedding detour to head overseas. I have to say it was a well-earned break. Not just from wedding planning but from working in general. Getting away during the colder months helps you really get through. The thing is – now there’s not long to go till the wedding and it’s totally crunch time!

Last time I checked in we’d just met our amazing co-ordinators (more to come from them in my next post). But in the mean time I thought I’d share with you how I found my wedding dress.

Most girls dream about their wedding day, down to the finest details, including the napkin holders. As you’d expect, I was no different. And I used to love doodling dresses. Funnily enough the “wedding dress” I had drawn for myself many years ago isn’t too dissimilar. OK, I embellish, they were both white, and with a princess skirt.

So, I started by looking at the overseas-designer-dresses to see if anything tickled my fancy. However after a few try on sessions, I found my place.  She’s an amazing Aussie designer, Karen Willis Holmes. What a pleasure, no appointments necessary, the girls who worked there were so friendly and welcoming. Just what you want when you’re trying to find “THE DRESS”.

The first time I went in, I took my dad’s sister. When I walked out of the change room, she started to cry, as did the shop assistant helping me get into the dress!

What about my mum? Well…she can only really cry if there’s music to go with the moment.

After the tears, I knew that this was the dress.

UNTIL……

A short time later I did a drive by, and in the window was a dress I’d never seen before. There was a brand new style that was just begging me to try it, so I did. Confusion set in, I now loved two dresses. I had almost convinced my mum to let me do an outfit change on the big day just so I could wear both.

That wouldn’t be the case, so with the help of Karen herself, I narrowed down my choice from two to one.

And then it was time to show two aunties and my mother-in-law. There was no problem there, until I found out that my cousin was coming. Besides the fact she had never included me in her wedding, I didn’t really want to show too many people.

She must have missed this memo, as she INSISTED on taking a picture of me in my dress. And before I had time to scream, swear (not in front of the dress)…’CLICK’ – the blackberry sound goes off and that’s it. Etched in pixels, me and my dress.

I quickly learned that from now on, I was going to have to speak up for myself, and fast! Camera phones work at lightning speed.

I didn’t have the heart to bring it up again. But I hope that deep down, she keeps it to herself.

In the meantime, the image of me in my dress gets more and more clear, with a fitting not too far away.

With more drama’s (and some fun) to come…Bride in the city xoxo

Meeting the Francks (pronounced Fronk!)

For those of you who aren’t aware, in my family we refer to event planners as Franck (aka Martin Short from the movie Father of the Bride). If you haven’t seen it, then you should. It’s a definite must-see before your wedding.

So I was most excited to have chosen ours, a power team, complete with florist extraordinaire. I knew that this team was going to make our wedding beautiful and hopefully they would also be able to control mine, and my mums crazy notion that we have to do everything ourselves.

I WAS RIGHT!

They are truly amazing. However, I’m not sure if they feel the same way about us!

Picture this: the soon-to-be bride and groom, my parents (that’s right my dad is very metro and loves to get creative) and my future in-laws, the same in-laws that created my future sister-in-law who was most difficult to please. I didn’t think this was going to be an easy meeting.

Franck: So what kind of numbers are we looking at for the wedding?

Mr Finance: Around 250, 270…..

Mother-In-Law (MIL): NO! It’s 250, no more than 250.

(The look on my fiancé’s face was just heart breaking. Having moved out of home and being way over 18, it’s not easy to be yelled at by your mother)

Mr Finance: Mum, we haven’t finalised the numbers yet, so I’m just being realistic

MIL: No, that’s not it. Bring your numbers down. The whole function changes when the guest number goes over 250

Me (thought bubble only): Umm, you’ve just seen my mum and I panic over how many people we have on our draft list. And you’re screaming at him, when you really want to scream at us for having too many people? And besides, what’s an extra 10 people if it avoids all the family dramas?

Needless to say, this was like a game of tennis – and the Francks hadn’t got another word in edge wise for the first 20 minutes of the meeting.

Franck finally pipped up, “why don’t you argue the numbers when we leave!” (which I’m guessing they want to be in the next 10 seconds!)

So, now that we’ve stepped-off on the wrong foot, let’s try and hop back onto the wedding train. I know that Mr Finance and I want it to be modern, but not harsh modern, traditional-modern that has soft elements.

They were totally excited! And with my wedding scrap book in hand, they knew that ideas weren’t a problem – it was getting the important ones off the scrap book page and into the wedding plan. For the rest of the meeting my mum sulked in the corner, as the MIL took over. And I just tried my best to not let Zilla out of her cage.

Luckily she was tame for this evening. And we made a little progress. The fathers often slowed down the process with their crazy ideas, and the fact that men are always 5 minutes behind the conversation.

At the end of meeting one, I know that we’re going to be having majority black and white, with elements of pink. The elements of pink have yet to be vocalised to MIL who would prefer no colour at all.

Oh just wait until Zilla hears about that!

Until next time xx

The bridesmaid dresses. Part II.

Just a quick recap from part one of this wedding nightmare; I have 6 bridesmaids, 6 dresses. However, the sister-in-law to be is NOT, repeat NOT happy about the dresses. She’s flying in from overseas for a try on session – so here goes.

I was looking forward to see my sister-in-law it had been a while since I’d seen her, however, this wasn’t going to be the amazing visit that it was supposed to be. In my heart, I knew that she wasn’t going to like the dresses, and that I was going to have to come up with some other solution. What that solution was I had no idea. But everyone kept saying “do not change those dresses!”

Saturday morning, location, my place. There’s food, dresses and boy was there tension. I was doing my best to ignore it. My girls were amazing. They were overly gushy about the dresses, they honestly liked them, but they were over compensating.

When OMFG was trying the dress on, she first tried on the 8 as she requested, that didn’t fit. Funny that. So the 10, fit over the bust and needed a bit of work – naturally to be expected. I wanted the hems to be the same length, however, OMFG took that to mean she could hike up the dress towards her UPPER thigh.

Bridesmaid 1: Um OMFG they’re getting married in a church – that’s not appropriate

OMFG: I don’t care about that – that doesn’t bother me at all

Cue bridesmaid 1, walking away to the other bathroom before physically hurting her.

I’d like to add, that not once during this try-on session did she say ‘I’m not wearing the dress’ – so everyone went on their day. There was no need to rush out and shop for another dress. Crisis averted, she’s going to wear the dress.

WRONG!

Later that afternoon Mr Finance says to me as he’s getting out of the car, ‘Oh OMFG isn’t wearing the dress’

WHAT!

At 7 o’clock at night, she rang to explain. It was a long convo but to summarise – “you normally have great taste, I don’t know what happened with these dresses” & “everyone looks fat in the dresses, I’m being a real friend and telling you this.”

Friend – it’s an interesting term. For me a friend would be a good bridesmaid and just wear the dress. But then again, I’m not the ultimate bridezilla, and fought the zilla urges to kick her out, and chose to shop instead.

The next day, we went from shop to shop. At one point I walked out to have a cry to my mum. I just couldn't take the pressure! When I returned, Bridesmaids 2 & 3 were in a change room together. Bridesmaid 3 was in tears. She apologised that her boobs are so big and couldn't fit into dresses.

That was it! I couldn’t take it anymore. I called time on shopping. This was a huge strain on my relationship.

After the weekend from hell, I needed to take a mental day from work. This would be a good opportunity to look at Bridesmaids Only. It’s in the name, how could you go wrong. Mum and I find a dress we like, so I instruct OMFG to get herself down there and try it on.

Waiting waiting, then…insert heavenly music.

SMS: “I’ve tried it on the dress is fine”

Not quite the response I was looking for but whatever! First dresses, returned with little to no hassle.

So I decide that I have to speak to OMFG and let her know that if she wants to be a part of the bridal party from now on, she just has to say YES! I wasn’t asking her to kiss the ground I walk on, just walk on the same side of the street.

I never really got an answer, the response to will she go along with hair, makeup and shoes was “fundamentally yes, but what is it going to be like!”

AHHHH… get out get out get out. I should have…But I didn’t. She went home and this Zilla was locked back in her cage. And most importantly my relationship survived it.

Bridesmaid dresses - Part One

Bridesmaids dresses are known to be hideous. I'm not sure why. Is it that brides want to make sure they look the best, and the bridesmaids "fade" into the background?

If that’s the way most brides are thinking – let me tell you, when you’re wearing a white dress, it doesn’t matter what the bridesmaids are wearing you’ll get noticed. Unless you’re bridesmaid is Pippa Middleton. For me, the bridesmaid dress would be one that complemented my dress and overall style of the day.

With that in mind, I had six bridesmaids to dress. But this wasn’t going to be so easy. The commonality between my bridesmaids was me, they are girls. Yep that’s right, six girls and six very different body shapes and styles – but hey I’m the bride, I’m sure the girls will go along for the ride.

That was a beautiful dream until one fateful day. I was waiting for a bridal gown appointment, I was walking around a shopping area in Sydney (to keep my identity secret, I’m not going to say where) – low and behold a dress in the window, on-sale for one weekend only, that ticks all the right boxes. Mum likes it, I like it, so it’s time to bring in the girls. Typical, only two of the six are in Sydney at the time, but one is a size 8 the other size 12 – they are either end of the spectrum of sizes, so if it fits them and looks good – we’re done and with a bit of cash to spare.

Oh wait let me just add  – my future sister-in-law and one BFF live overseas permanently. However, sister-in-law will be in Oz in a couple of weeks.

The next day – I get the thumbs up from the two girls, send pics to the girls overseas. So email goes out overseas with the good news that I found everyone’s size at David Jones (just in case I need to return). Not thinking that I would ever have to.

As the international date line ticks over, I get good reports from each bridesmaid. Until…sister-in-law, who will now be known as “OMFG!” – sends an email asking what size I had bought her (even though I’d sent her a photo of the dress the day before with a positive response):

ME: Size 10, that’s what your mum said you were.

No email response – just an overseas phone call:

OMFG!: I’m not a size 10 anymore, I’m an 8, I’m doing yoga now.
ME: ok! That’s fine we can buy an extra size 8 so you can choose.
OMFG!: No that’s not what I mean, I don’t think the dress is going to work on me, I just don’t think I like it.
ME: (what I’m thinking): Ummm SO WHAT?
ME: (what I say): OK…how about you just be patient and wait a couple of weeks until you arrive – try it on and then see how you feel?

This went on and on for the next 45 minutes. By this time Mr Finance had come home and was keeping me calm on the outside, because trust me, bridezilla was fighting to get out of her cage on the inside.

In the meantime, the other bridesmaidlings had been informed of the pending problem and to be prepared…stay tuned for part two and you’ll see why the nick name is being generous...

Finding a wedding venue

With the engagement announcement saga well behind us it was time to get down to business and really get the wedding planning under way. 

Mr Finance and I are totally on the same page for the wedding. Minus the guest numbers. We know that we don’t want to have the wedding at the same location as every other wedding and we love the industrial look softened with a traditional modern touch. 

Great! Now where to look?

I officially now know all Sydney wedding venues. Our guest list is somewhere from 250-280. You heard me, 250-280! Here are just a few 'why the wedding wasn't there' excuses:

-          Australian Technology Park – love love love, but too much to bring in, kitchen lighting, chairs, the whole nine yards and then some

-          Powerhouse museum – too small

-          Inglis Newmarket (stables in Randwick) – mum’s not convinced on air con satisfaction

-          Observatory (not the hotel) – marquee too small

-          State library – too small

-          NSW Art Gallery – too many rules

-          Carriage Works – completely booked for month of the wedding

-          Museum of Contemporary Art – undergoing renovations

-          PYD Waterloo – the reception would be in a car park

-          Maritime Museum marquee – too small

-          Doltone House (new and old) – we liked the new room, parentals didn’t like the low ceilings

-          Curzon Hall – didn’t want an outside ceremony so waisted

There are so many more. But between six people there were many non-negotiables. 

For my mum, air-conditioning. 

Mr Finance, dance floor space. 

Me, oh don’t worry about me – I’m just the bride! 

The place that met all requirements is the same place my cousin and BFF had both had their weddings. Everyone LOVED it! But I was doing my best to avoid it as I knew our wedding was not going to compare to the extravaganza my cousin had, not to mention the family cross over.

The last resort, Le Montage. They had recently renovated, so one rainy night I headed there with my in laws and fiancé in-tow. Big dance floor, great space, easy parking, nice outlook, great outdoor space, and air con! Perfect! So that weekend on our way to a friend’s place, we met my parents there.

Le Montage on a Saturday afternoon is like a wedding factory – there are four rooms full of wedding guests and in the light of day – the dream was over and the bridezilla in me reared its ugly head. I snapped, realising our wedding would have to be at my my cousin and BFF's hotel. “I can’t compete with cousins wedding! I’m not having my wedding there. I’ll find somewhere else!”

Surely my freak out wasn’t too out of character for wedding function central. I’m sure I won’t be the last bridezilla tantrum out the front. But I’m sure the guests arriving could have done without the show. I calmed myself down with a few drinks at lunch. Bridezilla was tucked away again. I also had to choose the hotel that I had been so adamant against. 

As Mr. Finance called it “best worst case scenario” – this line would be used time and time again when it came to many key decisions. My vote counts for two at least, but even the bride verses both parents and fiancé won’t win. So Hilton Hotel it is. 

The engagement announcement

"I'M ENGAGED!" – was the scream heard around the world. World is a little extreme, but pretty close. My fiancé, let’s call him Mr Finance, and I have been dating for almost 10 years, when he finally popped the question. I think I should rename myself Patience. But in reality the timing was perfect and it was the greatest day.

After a picnic in the park, it was time to call our parents, families, and the girls – soon to be known as the bridesmaidlings. It was a lovefest. They couldn’t be happier and it was just such an amazing feeling, that nothing could bring me down from this high.

Until the engagement announcement discussion. I had always heard from friends who had already gone through the wedding prep, that weddings bring out the worst. But I was determined to think that this wasn’t going to happen to me.

When it came time to put together our engagement announcement in our community newspaper, HELLO NIGHTMARE. As a writer by profession, I thought it would be fine for me to write the announcement. How hard could it be? Parent’s names, grandparent’s names, siblings, and of course our own. With of course a sentence thrown in about how excited and happy we all were. It should have been a 10 minute job. So I wrote it, and sent to both mothers for a name check. A mistake I shouldn’t have made.

My soon to be mother-in-law (MIN) was not happy with "all the extra wording". Strict instructions, no mention of sibling or grandparents. (Ummm excuse me!). Naturally, I pick up the phone…

“Mum…”
“Yes darl!”
“MIN said that the announcement is too long and doesn’t want anyone mentioned besides the parents and us”
“No that’s not right! Speak to Mr Finance.”

Phone call number two (did I mention I was at work?)

“Babe, your mum is getting on my nerves! She’s getting annoyed about the announcement”
“Breathe, it’s fine, I’ll ring her and sort it out.”

Then I get the phone call from the MIN.

Half a day later, the wording, photograph and colour is finally signed off. If a 10 minute task (and the most minute detail of the wedding) takes this long, how are we ever going to get through the wedding.

Meet our bride to be blogger...

Writing by day, bridal blogging by night!

Who I am? Well if you knew that…you know how that line goes. But what I can say, I’m a journalist, Carrie Bradshaw wannabe. And since getting engaged, I’m a bride-to-be, trying to keep the bridezilla in me under-wraps. Trust me from what I share in this blog, I need a bigger cage!

My fiancé is in finance. He always has been, and when it comes to the wedding, he’s very involved. That’s right, Mr. Finance likes to get creative. We’ve been together for almost a decade (one year shy), it started at the end of high-school. As a couple, we’ve gone through 3 uni degrees, 11 jobs, 4 overseas holidays, good times and some bad – this wedding planning will only make us stronger. Right?