Here comes the bride!

As I sit here writing this, I am a recent bride, still on cloud nine after my very happy occasion, my amazing wedding day. The wedding day that I planned months and months for, channeled so much money and energy into preparing for, and the day that went by in a blur even though it seemed like long and arduous process to get to.

Most of the women reading this blog are brides-to-be themselves, still only imagining whether everything they are planning for will happen according to their wishes. Much as I’d like to tell you all that it will be, my recent experience proves otherwise, but that does not make it any less of a farhat, or happy occasion.

My wedding day started out fairly beautifully. I had no problems sleeping the night before, and woke up naturally (and quite energetic) at six am. I began the day with some prayers and meditation, asking God to bless my marriage, and through the intercession of Jesus’ mother Mary, whom Catholics revere as the ultimate woman, asking for the blessings that would make me a good wife and mother. From then, it was a lovely breakfast of pancakes which I’d specifically requested, and the opening of a pretty present and letter from my husband-to-be.

And then the frenzy began! At 7am, my make-up artist was at the front door, and from then, it was a production line of bridesmaids from hair to make-up. I was up last, sipping water through a straw while trying not to squash my veil (I was happy to have gotten the perfect hair that it took six trials to get) or move my eyes too much as my false lashes were applied.

Sarah getting ready with her bridesmaids.

By twelve pm, I had the amazing Steven Khalil ready to dress me, and the videographers and photographers ready to document it all. By that time, the house was filling up with visitors and relatives downstairs, ready to wish me well and escort me out of the house en-route to the church. By that time, I was finally in my dress, and ready to roll for my pretty bridal shots, but by then, dad kept stepping into the room to tell me to go downstairs and take some photos with all my adoring fans relatives.

Dressed by Steven Khalil.

After some photos and dancing downstairs, I was in the beautiful vintage Jaguar en-route to St Charbel’s, ready to be married. The walk down the aisle was smooth and the ceremony even smoother, even if we couldn’t get the pillow which contained the rings off the dozing page boy.

Walking the aisle with her father.

Before I knew it, our photo shoot in Hyde Park was over, and we were making our entrance into the reception, partying the night away, and finally, leaving it for our beautiful honeymoon suite at the Four Seasons.

Photos at Hyde Park.

And although no one would have recognised certain mishaps except this perfectionist bride and her even more perfectionist wedding planner, I do want to fire off some last minute tips for any brides to be in the hope that they can avoid some of the grumpiness/scenarios I experienced on my special day:

• Re-think ‘typical’ photo shoot destinations if you’re after something creative. A creative photographer can make do with any setting, but I do regret my last minute choice of Hyde Park because of all the people around.

• Clarify everything with ‘creative’ suppliers. I arranged to walk into my reception to a particular song. I’d never EVER heard of the one I actually walked into, which meant that I did a very subtle trip over the hem of my dress when the shock actually came through.

• Allocate more time than you think you need (at least an extra hour) for photos. You’re dolled up and high on love, happiness and champagne. Make the most of it.

• Eat the wedding cake. And eat some food. I’d had nothing to eat after breakfast. And I regret it all now, especially when my guests told me of the brilliance of the prawns/profiteroles/strawberries/antipasto. But missing out on my white-choc and raspberry pricey and beautiful cake was a bummer!

• If the music/sound guy is playing a random CD, not the own you slaved over perfecting, make sure someone tells him.

• Don’t let anyone rush you if you’re going well for time, no matter their excuses. People are accustomed to the fashionable lateness of the bride.

• Have some time-out with your dad before he walks you in. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

• Take some silly shots with your bridesmaids. They are your girls after all!

• Take some flat shoes to the photo shoot.

• If you have two photographers, make sure that one knows they have to be there when the groom arrives, otherwise they’ll miss him arriving in the police car.

• Take a second to savour the day, at any point throughout. It goes by way faster than it should.  

Married!

The final week before the wedding!

When I got engaged, I gave myself 14 months of preparation for my big day, and promptly went ahead planning ahead for it. I booked as many things as I could very early on, held many meetings, ignored my fiancé to make many a phone call to wedding planners and reception centres, and basically thought I had it all under control so that I could relax in my final week.

But like most of my aspirations and goals, this didn’t all go exactly according to plan, and the final week was a frenzy of explaining yet again what I wanted from the florist and the decorator, organising CDs for the English music (I had a Lebanese band) and last minute beauty touch-ups in between drives to pick up dresses and balloons and champagne.

The biggest mistake I made was working until the last minute. I worked right up until Thursday, even though my pre-wedding party (the Laylia, or wedding eve) was going to be held on Friday night. Working right through the final week was a jolt of stress that I did not need, but I still managed to escape unscathed come Friday, and had managed to get a last minute brow wax and spray tan in between driving to Paddington with my Maid of Honour (my sister Marie-Claire) to pick up my dress from the amazing Steven Khalil.

That week, my mum decorated our house with metres of tulle, my relatives sent over dozens of floral arrangements, and my aunties sent over beautiful themed chocolates to serve with the bottles of Moet Champagne on wedding-day morning. Pretty soon, our normal home had transformed into a house worthy of a bridal shoot.

And then, Friday came. And it was all about my last party as an Ayoub woman: the Laylia. The Laylia is a Lebanese tradition that is held a week before, or week of the wedding. It involves dressing up, and celebrating your final joy in your father’s house. Everyone on your side of the guest lists comes to wish you well, and to dance, eat and drink with your family as they wish you well on your soon-to-be journey.

Walking in with Mum and Dad.

I’d gone fairly classic and simple with my wedding gown, so I wanted to make sure that I went all-out with my Laylia gown. I’d chosen Emerald Green Silk, and found a lace that matched it, which meant that I could design it around Elie Saab’s dress for Halle Berry and add a little more excitement (in the form of ruffled layers) to the skirt. After many dress fittings with a local dress maker, it felt just right, and it sure made my night walking into the hall to the sound of the Tubbel (the Lebanese drum) with my parents beside me and my relatives and friends ready to hit the dance floor!

Walking in with Tubbel.

Later on in the evening, my groom-to-be crashed my party (another tradition), hoisted onto the shoulders of his groomsmen and with his own Tubbel to mark his entrance. It was beautiful to see my Anglo-Australian family-to-be celebrate my customs – after all, we all love an excuse to party.

The groom arrives.

As the clock slowly ticked towards midnight, it was time for them to leave, but not before they tried to steal the bride. Stealth was used and tactic was employed, but knowing that going off to their party would bring dishonour on the wedding and my family (after all, tradition says that it can only be my father who lets me go, and that was what Sunday’s nuptials were for), I remained firmly footed in my side’s soiree, before winding the party down, and counting down the final day until I’d be Mrs Sarah Christie.

Dancing with the groom.

All the single ladies!

One of the most exciting aspects of preparing a wedding is the farewell to the single life. In recent years, Hen’s & Buck’s Nights have taken on new forms - meaning that they’re now across new cities, states or even continents and spanning entire weeks as opposed to weekends.

I decided to go with a fairly traditional one, an afternoon and night out with my nearest and dearest ladies, but that didn’t make it any less exciting.

Wanting to paint the town red while looking our very best, we headed to one of my favourite beauty spots for a little bit of pampering: The Benefit Boutique in Paddington, and the only place whose staff are allowed to touch my brows. I’d gone in a few days earlier and enjoyed a full body spray tan trial for my big day ($40) and now that I had my fifteen best girls with me, we let the Benebabes go hard at work giving us the ‘Now to Wow’ treatment of eyebrow waxes and lash & brow tints (from $25). And then the pretty party began. For just over $20, we spent an hour learning the secrets to pretty in a make-up tutorial with their expert staff, while fooling around with our pretty pink mirrors and personal make-up testers.

Sararh enjoys the 'Wow to Now treatment'
and petty party with 15 of her girlfriends.

Now that we were looking our best, we headed to learn the art of the glamorous seduction with international burlesque artist Rachel St James. After a few stunned moments gawking at her beauty, talent and poise, we enjoyed a round of cocktails & Moet Champagne in the lush surroundings of Darlinghurst’s The Art Lounge, and then got down to business.

Sporting a stage name that we’d earlier picked out of a hat (Ruby Fox, Dirty Martini and Cha Cha were faves) and pair of red gloves each, we learnt a seductive, but tame routine that would tempt any onlookers but that left quite a lot to the imagination. And after a short break (for some more cocktails of course) we were off to learn phase 2 of the routine, which involved some red feathers that we strategically used to enhance our performance (should we ever make it!).


Learning a burlesque routine with Rachel St James.

After a round-up routine, and a special gift of a burlesque music CD, we decided to replenish our appetites with dinner at Zachary’s (Bayswater Road, Kings Cross) and then a night of dancing at Sydney’s Establishment Bar, where a request of Jagged Edge’s Let’s get Married was made for yours truly.

And just at that moment, with the song of altars and white dresses blaring from the speakers, a lovely young man hoisted me up onto his shoulders and walked around the venue while my friends clapped and cheered. A beautiful high to a lovely night, in both the physical and metaphorical sense. Now, if I can only go again. But alas, there’s bigger events ahead of me!

One month from the big day!

Hitting the shops for my bridesmaid's gifts.

Picture this. You're five and a half weeks out from your wedding and your stress levels are already running rampant, wreaking havoc on your skin and rendering you the type of bride you thought you'd never be. Your fiance is scared of you, your best friend thinks you're a diva and your photographer wants to kill you because your 10,000 commitments means you can't settle on a date for the pre-wedding consultation. Your bank account has $243 in it, your dress feels heavy at one of your final fittings and you swear it's a lot pooofier than you wanted it to be, and the veil you revolved the whole dress around suddenly doesn't look right with the lace you chose when you were having one of your indecisive moments. The kinds of indecisive moments you usually have at sumo salad or muffin break, but quadrupled in magnitude.

And then your band cancels on you. And people start telling you that the new owners of the reception centre aren't up to scratch where their meals are concerned, and that there probably won't be enough food on the big day, which is equivalent to the anti-christ's coming to earth where Lebanese weddings are concerned. Suddenly, it feels like the whole world is crumbling around you, and you start talking to yourself in the third person (in public, which is something you promised yourself you would never do).

So what do you do? Let me tell you, because this week, I am that bride. And, because I just don't think that James will love me the same if I am bald, I refuse to tear my hair out and screech profanities at passers-by when I get the dreaded band phone call in the middle of Sydney city. Instead, I delegate. I tell the wedding planner to discuss the menu options (and quantities) yet again with the reception centre – after all, it's not like I can change the venue when the RSVP cards are pouring in like the rains of this Sydney spring. I have my mother back her up, implying once again the magnitude of the food situation. And, because I tell myself it would be mean to use my journalistic powers to black-list my band, I have my MC find an alternative.

And because I refuse to deal with the rest of it, I take the afternoon off and treat myself to the Now to Wow treatment at Benefit cosmetics at Paddington (because good brows fix everything) and a decent shopping spree. I buy shoes for my laylia (pre-wedding party) even though they're ridiculously overpriced for their style, a pair of sandals because they're pink (and encrusted with pearls), and then I hit the shops shopping for my bridesmaid gifts. The loot they will end up scoring after serving me well on my big day? The kind of stuff I'd buy to treat myself (and hence something that will remind them of our fun times afterward): a lovely pair of earrings from Forever New which they'll wear on the big day ($18), a pretty floral tea cup from T2 ($22) and a MOR scented candle whose amazing fragrance will be wafting through the air long after they bid me farewell for my honeymoon.

You see, every bride is going to go through a crisis or other in the big day. The crux of a situation is what you make of it, which is where retail therapy fixes everything for the morphing bridezilla. Well, except for the balance of her bank account.

Sarah sorts her wedding transport

Sarah gets the run around when it comes to trabsport.

Right now, there is three months to go to my big day and thus, an ever pressing need to sort out how I am actually going to get there. For a few brides on a budget, wedding transportation is one of the boxes that needn't be ticked in a spectacular fashion. For me, however, my wedding cars would hopefully ensure that my old-fashioned deco theme would come together a little better.

My relatives, however, were not too thrilled with the fact that I was getting cars not because they wanted me to go on a camel or anything, but because I live close enough to the church to re-enact that Lebanese village bridal walk to the church, with all the guests around me singing songs and dancing as I made my way through the streets.

Unfortunately, while I loved the idea, I couldn't exactly re-enact the Lebanese village thing in a part of Sydney that is known to reach 40 degrees in December. Which is why I scouted for cars anyway, ultimately deciding on a trio of beautiful silver-on-black 40's Jaguars from Royalty Weddings. While there were a lot of options to choose from, all the horror stories I had heard made it pretty clear that Royalty was the way to go.

Especially considering that the original bloke I booked for my transportation decided to tell me (after I'd signed the paperwork) that he'd sold two of the cars, but that he'd agreed with the new buyer that they'd still turn up to my wedding, even though there was nothing signed to cement this.

So what should other brides look out for? My final decision was based on two factors: Paying the majority of the cost (I paid a $100 deposit for each car) on the day itself, when I was 100% certain that the right cars turned up (don't laugh – one of those horror stories is that the company sent different cars to those that were booked and remarked that the bride and groom wouldn't know the difference). And the actual cleanliness of the car inside and out (having a fiance who is a car enthusiast helped there).

As for the getaway car, I am still hoping that my reception throws one in. Otherwise, I am really hanging for a 1959 Cadillac to take me to the hotel. It really is my dream car, and thus must be a part of my dream wedding!

Choosing a wedding cake

The sweet job of tasting the cake!

A wedding that takes the cake needs a wedding cake that's worth it. I am a massive pastry enthusiast, and I can probably guarantee that about 67% of my body weight is made up of cake. In line with this strange but true addiction to, and obsession with, cake, it was only natural that buying my wedding cake was one of the next things to conquer on the list of things to do.

Armed with a number of wedding cake pictures from back issues of Bride To Be, I headed down to my reception's cake maker of choice, Celebration Cakes in Canterbury, fairly confident that one of my pictures would take the cut.

I was treated to a taste testing of their various flavours, and seated at a computer armed with a pen and worksheet, which implored me to run through a slideshow of images of hundreds of cakes, and write their codes down and the reasons why I liked them. Afterwards, staff member Pamela and I would go through each of the cakes that I had written something about and discuss the reasons why I liked them, and ways of incorporating those elements into my own design.

While there were plenty of cake designs and options to choose from, I was plagued with indecision, and still clung to one of the pictures that I had bought with me. Despite being encouraged to choose from their range, I still wanted the one I had come in with, and after some discussion and customisation, I was able to select it according to a number of modifications based on their capabilities and equipment.

I sampled a mango and coconut cake, a choc mud, a marble mud, a hazelnut cake, and a raspberry and white choc cake, but the raspberry was by far my favourite. However, I didn't think it was a flavour that would cater to all my guests, so I went with the marble mud. My top tier, however, would be a fruit cake, as that was the only type guaranteed to last until our first anniversary.

As I told James about the experience later, he was gobsmacked at the cost of the cake, which by the standards of wedding cakes was not that expensive. For brides on a budget, I actually urge you to consider having a kitchen cake (which comes iced, though not decorated) to increase the number of slices. I did this and was thus able to include the raspberry flavour in my cake too.

And one more tip: Even at the risk of increasing the cost, ask for delivery to your location – those cakes are huge and heavy, and the last thing you want is for it to arrive in pieces. And why not ask your reception to fit the bill of the cake, or even contribute something to the cost of it, to help you out a little? A little bit of bargaining went a long way for me, and I was able to knock my cake cost back after the reception agreed to funding a portion of it. After all, it's fun to have your cake; and eat it too.

Favour fever

I require an assembly line to package them up!

One thing I thought I'd be able to dispense from my wedding budget was the favours.
To me, favours are dust collectors that you're ashamed to throw out – lest the bride and groom pay you an impromptu visit or something. That is, unless you fork out $20 a pop for them and get something worthwhile, like a beautiful jewellery box or photo frame that people can use in their homes and actually remember you by.

So I thought I'd do something fun instead.Like a pack of matches for each guest with that clever 'Perfect Match' pun on them, and a few sugared almonds to finish the look in a little homage instead. My parents however, could not comprehend that matches were considered "acceptable bonbonniere" and given that a lot of Lebanese weddings were judged on appearance and the effort thrown into them, I could see where they were coming from, at least where their guests were concerned. And so another headache was thrown into the planning mix: brainstorming favours we all liked, and making sure they fit into our budget.

I hate clutter and I am not ashamed to say it.
Somehow, I couldn't see super miniature salt-and-pepper shakers, or teeny weeny frames, making the kind of statement that I feel bomboniere should. Luckily for me, dad was on the same page. Unluckily for me, his ideas were as far removed from reality as time travel and 70% Chanel sales (by the way, I am wishing someone would get onto these ASAP). He insisted we get guests some venetian glass photo frames (starting prices of $15 or so) and engrave each guest's name on it  ($1 per letter anyone?). Eventually, I had to make it clear that with a guest list  of 360 people or so, and a very slim probability of winning the Powerball, his plans were out of the question.

In the end, we met in the middle, and got each lot of invitees a set of coasters.
They were practical, nice and had a purpose. They set us back $6.50 each, and will require an assembly line of family and friends to package them up with the sugared almonds (a tradition I was not prepared to forego considering they symbolised fertility, longevity, happiness, health and wealth) and the little thank you tag that is the favour du jour for all weddings.

Another drama sorted, another cost I couldn't avoid. But at least it is all slowly coming together in a timely fashion, and considering we're entering the three and a half month mark, it's about time.

Accessorising the gown

Visiting 'Something Bleu' for my accessories.

Truth be told, I am actually hoping that my dress does most of the talking, but that's not to say I won't be looking for items to enhance the overall feel of it, and pull my look together.

The veil was number one, but seeing as I am getting married on a December day (hot and probably sticky) and I probably will not need it once the ceremony was over, I decided to go all out with it for the church and swap it with a lovely fascinator complete with bird-cage veil for the reception. Steven Khalil will actually make the veil for me as part of the cost of my gown, and he'll also include a hair clip too, which is going to attach to the fascinator and bird-cage veil for the reception.

Next stop was the shoes, and they were surprisingly an easy find. Despite the fact that I had many a choice of style and price point, I went for a pair of elegant off-white peep-toes encrusted with diamonds, pearls and a bow – and at only $149 from Wanted Shoe Co, they were an absolute bargain.

With so much going on at the top of my gown and in my hair, I wanted to go to light on the jewellery. This is something completely foreign to my mother and most of my relatives, as some Lebanese families like to dress the bride in new jewellery sets on her big day.

So far, I have managed to tell anyone who will listen that I'd like to forego this option lest I wind up with something completely different to my regular style, and, based on past experiences, I can't really blame myself. This is probably starting to freak them out a little, especially considering that I have decided to hold off on shopping for earrings until I have done my hair trial, so I can at least be certain of the look I will be working with.

I have decided to adopt a fairly recent Catholic Bride tradition (at least among Eastern & European Catholics) and wear a rosary on my right hand. To make sure it was perfect enough for the big day and the big dress, I decided to get it custom-made using Swarovski crystals at the bridal accessories boutique Something Bleu on Parramatta Rd, Petersham. It set me back over $200, but it's pretty and destined to be a family heirloom someday.

I'll be returning to Something Bleu to shop for accessories for my bridesmaids as well as my own earrings, but in the mean time, Ill be content with understanding where the wedding bucks go! 

Next fortnight, I'll finally get a start on my bridesmaid dresses. With four girls to dress and a mother who wants final say on what her daughters are wearing, it's probably going to be more drama than it's worth. Then again, isn't that what this whole wedding planning process has been about so far?

The search for the perfect wedding dress

As a self-confessed plain-Jane with a penchant for gorgeous things that I buy to hang in my closet and constantly stare at without actually wearing, I want a dress, that, as Carrie Bradshaw put it in the first Sex and the City flick, "ups the ante" – taking me from drab to fab in matter of nano-seconds.

After looking through Bride to Be magazine, I narrowed my search to two Sydney designers, visiting both and trying on two gowns at each store. I'm told that a custom-made dress needs eight months worth of notice (phew, just made it!), and will come with its veil and accessories (yay, no added expenses).

Steven Khalil helps Sarah plan her dress

Although I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted, I tried on a few styles to make sure the vision in my head translated into reality. As a short girl marrying a tall bloke, I had to be realistic with the styles that I wanted, and I was stunned to find that old adage to be true: when you know, you know.

After stepping into the Paddington boutique of bridal couturier Steven Khalil, I knew immediately that I had to have one of his classic, elegant and steal-the-show designs. And while one style made me look pregnant, the other was a dream come true, further exemplified by the fact that I wanted to race out of the store and parade myself down the street as soon as he put the veil on my head "to complete the look".

I'll be checking in to Khalil's store regularly for measurements, calico-fittings and material selections. While I think the most important part of my big day (sans the groom) now sorted, I have a bigger drama ahead of me: keeping the style a secret, resisting everyone's self-invitations to come along to a fitting and most of all, to stop myself ogling other styles and designs.

Clearly, I do not comprehend limitations well. Then again, dresses should be a lot like the groom – you can look around and admire what's out there, but in the end, once you've made one style you're one true love, you gotta see it to the end. So heed my advice and make sure that when you settle, you better be settling for one that's worth it.

Drowning in DIY invites

 I am starting to freak out about invites!

Amidst all the renowned and almost typical drama of weddings – like dresses, budgets and locations – I totally forgot about the process that would see my nuptials actually being attended: the invitations.

Like most brides, I assumed this would be an easy part of the planning process. I was dead-set wrong. Invitation options are far from limited, ranging from complete DIY to semi-assisted to completely made for you, ranging from silks and boxes and materials to plain old bits of card stuck in an envelope.

I assumed that invites soon get tossed  away, so I was not to keen on the flashier styles, some of which could cost in excess of $15 per invitation. If you multiply invites by my number of guests, I would be bankrupt. I figured I could get some pretty designs printed on simple cardstock that fitted in with the theme and colour scheme of my big day.

After scouting many a store both physical and online, my best option was to buy the material for the pocketfold invitation I liked online from an website (card stock, coloured papers and envelopes) and have my graphic designer cousin design and print the invites for me so I could assemble.

I thought I was being smart and simple, but when I factored in the cost of shipping, I was not as better off as I thought. My mother meanwhile, thought that it was going to render me some sort of 'too thrifty' reputation among her friends, because apparently, my simple and elegant invitations, which lack 3D bits and bobs like flowers, butterflies, crystals and the like, were somehow equated to us being poor.

Four months and three weeks shy of the big day, I'm starting to freak out. I am suddenly armed with 200 lots of various cards (invitation, wishing well, RSVP card & Laylia invitation), 200 envelopes, 200 pocketfolds and an excel spreadsheet which all of a sudden doesn't make any sense.

To brides who don't care: consider the email invitation. To brides that do: the extra cost for completely assembly is worth it in the long run if it's not going to add to any additional drama where preparations are concerned. Then again, who'd have time for cold feet if you have a whole lot of other stuff to worry about?

Planning the first night

The Four Seasons Hotel, Sydney.

With five months to go to the main event, my focus for the next few weeks will be some minor details - like finalising the guest list, dress appointments with Steven Khalil, hunting down invitation materials, and deciding on pre-wedding events, like my kitchen tea, hen's night and Laylia (or pre-wedding night).

Considering we will be getting hitched at a time when Australia is brimming with tourists, not to mention the holiday season, I decided I better get cracking on the honeymoon and all that goes with it. James & I really wanted to be back in time for Christmas, so a two week honeymoon was our only option. I've already bought our Christmas tree you see, and am really excited at putting it up with my husband in our first home together.

James wanted to go to Thailand, but seeing as it is so close by and we can go there at anytime. I preferred somewhere a little more romantic: New York in the winter. I can imagine dinners out, lazy brunches, carriage rides in Central Park & ice-skating in Rockerfeller Centre. But, to ensure we had a bit of fun too, we've also decided to spend a few days in Vegas. Unfortunately, the whole affair was quite costly, but considering we'll be able to do our Christmas shopping there, and we only honeymoon once, it was not something I was willing to debate.

With our flights sorted for the day after our wedding, and our NYC and Vegas hotels booked and paid for, I turned my attention to my wedding night. I wanted something luxurious and glamorous, preferably with a view and set in one of my favourite of Sydney districts: The Rocks.

After scouting a few hotels, I eventually found a package that epitomised what I was after at the five-star Four Seasons Hotel (a chain that is Mr Big's choice, no less), which as an added bonus, is the only Australian-owned five-star hotel in Sydney.

With their wedding package, I was able to arrange a room with views of the harbour, breakfast in the suite, and a light meal and sparkling wine on arrival - perfect for that last indulgence on my big day! The package also allows for a 3pm late checkout, which means we won't need to get up in a hurry after the frenzied excitement of the day before.

Perfect wedding skin

The quest for perfect wedding day skin

I want to be beautiful on my wedding day. Then again, don't we all? I mean, why else am I spending loads of money on a dress, accessories, hair and make-up? My only problem is that all of me is not exactly on board with my whole beautiful bride thing and by all of me, I mean the one thing other than my dress that people will be looking at: my face.

I've always had a problem with my skin, and no amount of water-drinking, diet-watching, cream-applying or medicated pill-popping has ever rectified it. My skin is oily, dull and tired all the time. It also happens to be prone to many breakouts, and unfortunately, I am prone to picking them.

We all know that's the worst thing to do to your face, but I like to pick a fight with my breakouts because I like to remind them that I don't want them to be there. And I think that in the lead-up to the wedding, this is not going to change, because leopards don't change their spots. But that's not to say they can't change their skin regimens.

In an attempt to improve my skin condition, I have decided to join a gym. A skin-gym, I mean, which is a series of facial treatments all catered to my skin condition and administered by a professional beauty therapist at Ella Rouge. Priced at $999 (not exactly cheap but well worth it in the long term, especially considering it is valued at $1500 and consists of a total of 17 treatments), the Clean & Clear gym is recommended for congested and clogged skin – although it does come in packages catered to dull and pigmented skin, as well as skin with sun damage and premature ageing.

My skin gym consists of a mixture of oxygen therapy, omnilux light therapy treatments, clean out treatments and refining peels, two of which are conducted every fortnight for a few weeks at my local Ella Rouge Salon. There Rhonda, my skin's new best friend, uses her miracle hands and products to make me feel like a million dollars, despite my reservations about the equipment and the technologies (the omnilux, for example, means I lay under a really bright light for 20 mins, which is a hard adjustment for your eyes, although not damaging. After two visits, I am already seeing an amazing difference in my skin.

The best thing about it is that Rhonda recognises the stress that plays a role in my skin – and while I am there, I'm also treated to some short head, hand and shoulder massages that release a lot of tension and generally aid in my relaxation.

I'll be tracking the treatments in this blog as they continue, in the hope that they will really work for me and fulfil my beautiful bride dream. They might be worth the indulgence (and necessity) for other brides, which means less packing on of the make-up and a genuine great feeling about yourself in the lead-up to the big day.

These days, beauty technologies are marvels, but they still fall quite short, because, as you can see, they're still lacking in something to treat the congestion in my head that all my multi-tasking is causing!

The Dreaded 'B' word

Like the GST, weddings have a significant mark-up.

Since the dawn of the modern era, when marriage and weddings stopped being about land acquisitions and bartering of goats, brides have been haunted by the dreaded 'b' word and all its connotations.

The average cost of Australian weddings, according to Bride to Be, is about $50,000. In the Lebanese culture, that buys you half your gigantic family's presence, silk flowers (about as popular as bikinis in Afghanistan) and a trip to your shindig in your electrician brother's panel van.

For 'my people', weddings are the be all and end all of a person's life, and the quality of the wedding says more about the couple and their families than perhaps their actual marriage.

Women love to compare, contrast and comment on everything from clothing to decor, and so, when I walk down the aisle, I'm probably going to be compared to the $75,000 bride and the $120,000 bride. This is not so bad where my family and James' family are concerned.

On the one side, I'm being told to get what I want because it's my day and it comes around once.
On the other, James practically went into cardiac arrest upon discovering that the candelabras I had my eye on would set us back about $2000. Needless to say, it's been back to the drawing board many a time and I'm starting to understand the necessity of meeting in the middle. And it is here that the internet, particularly EBAY, have been my saving grace.

I've set myself a strict $55,000 budget, absorbed as much information as possible from bridal mags and forums, and utilised the talents and help of my family and friends where references for suppliers (and skills, such as invitation-designing) are concerned.

Like the GST, weddings seem to have a significant mark-up, almost as if a product's presence is going to make or break your day. But only if you let it. A simple trick is to remember that there's a life-time commitment after the vows and the dancing and the registry-signing. And the more you save on that special day, the easier the longer life journey will be. After all, three's a crowd, meaning there's only room in a marriage for the bride and the groom. Debt collectors optional.

Professionals do it better

There are some things you need to leave to the pros.

You can collect all the pictures you want and have a wedding folder whose content could rival an encyclopaedia, but there are some things that you just need to leave to the pros. Much as I would have loved to make my own flowers, centrepieces and invitations in order to minimise the damage to my bank account, I have learned that it would be better to fork out that little bit extra and leave it to the pros.

This is where a wedding planner can save you loads, even if you're paying for their services. Wedding planners know the best of the best in the business, negotiate the best costs for their client and are the band-aids to the kinds of situations that threaten to pull you under. You don't even need to have them there for the duration of the whole planning process, utilising their services for a few sessions as a consultative measure to make sure everything you want is achievable still works wonders.

My band-aid is Danielle of Entertainment Solutions International, a trusted friend and the type of person who would fight for whatever I wanted until I was 100% satisfied with the outcome. You see that's the thing about weddings. There's a lot of push and pull, and an agenda that's not always your own. The team behind you has to be as committed to you as you are committed to your marriage.

In my short span of time as a bride-to-be, I have learnt that the best laid plans can go astray, only to be replaced with the kind of dilemmas that would have you wishing you could brave the Chapel-of-Love Vegas option no matter how much you wanted Daddy to walk you down the aisle.

Familial issues, traditions, costs and even suppliers can all threaten the beauty and harmony of a big day. To make it out of the ensuing melee unscathed, you need to step up to the plate and be prepared to jump over each and every hurdle that would inevitably come your way, no matter the consequence. You'll learn to be firm about some things, and lax about others - and that's even before you get down to organising the finer details of the whole event!
 
All may be fair in love and war. But nobody's ever said anything about weddings, which interestingly enough, fall kind of in between. 

Involving the family

Sarah with her fiance James.

When most people announce their engagement to their family, they are met with squeals of delight and shouts of congratulations and hoorays. My parents immediately leaped into their roles of Parents of the Bride, which apparently also translated into VIPP (Very Important Party Planners). Within a matter of moments, I was informed that the place I had hoped to hold my reception just wasn't good enough, and interestingly enough, neither was my scheduled date.

They might say a wedding is a bride's special day, but I soon discovered otherwise. Apparently, we were not revolving around my own schedule, but that of the MC, who was a good friend of my Dad's. In a swift move reserved for the likes of the Secret Service, my Mum was on the phone with the Church making alternative arrangements for the ceremony, while my fiance James and I stood in the middle of the room attempting to comprehend the unravelling of events before us.

Despite the fact that we were yet to source quotes and catering options from anywhere else, and that I had a completely different venue in mind, Dad was on his mobile booking the date with a local reception. Don't worry, he assured me, this is the best place for a good Lebanese wedding. Except there was a teeny, tiny problem with that statement. The groom.

Although the wheels had been set in motion for the traditional large, loud Lebanese wedding, I was marrying into a reserved Anglo-Australian family. WASPs to be precise. The kind who let old English etiquette dominate their meal times and who had minor heart attacks when they saw how big my family was (and how much we ate) at our engagement.

It was enough that my mother needed a series of Novenas to Saint Anthony to find comfort in me taking a husband outside the culture she knew and loved. But now I had to explain to my future mother-in-law that the intimate affair she had probably imagined for the wedding of her only son would be replaced by 330 people dancing like there's no tomorrow to the beat of large drums that would scare off an ancient Aztec tribe at ritual time. Oh well, at least it was going to be something worth talking about!

Meet Sarah - our Bride to Be blogger

Sarah, our Bride to Be blogger

Sarah has a daunting to-do list: 'Watch wedding budget, retain full-time job, write thesis & not to over-whelm fiance's small reserved Anglo-Australian family with my large Lebanese one!"

My name is Sarah Ayoub and I am a Bride-to-Be. I work full-time, freelance write and blog at Wordsmith Lane. I'm also a novelist-in-the-making and postgraduate research student whose thesis is starved of attention and whose supervisor ought to have her expelled.

Once upon a time, a handsome man knelt down at my feet and blinded me with a beautiful ring. For some reason, he might have also blinded me to reality, because from the moment I accepted his proposal, I thought I could plan my dream wedding midst of all of my above commitments. I thought wrong.

For more on my mishaps, follow my wedding blog right here on Bride to Be. My life is only going to get crazier, more stressful, and a little more pricey. There will be days where I would be prone to fits of shallowness, tight-arse-ness, frustration and tiredness, and days where I simply can't function for the sheer joy of it all.

My Aisle File lessons will be just the ticket to ensure that every bride-in-the-making gets the most out of her experience - because before you even get down to business, you will slowly discover that there's a lot more to weddings than meets the eye.